There was a chick named Cherilyn. But then, she shortened her name to Cher. She met a dude named Sonny. He didn't shorten his name, but 'Sonny' mighta been a nickname...I just don't know. Anyhow, they made some hit songs in the Hippy Sixties and then they made a not-so-hit movie called CHASTITY. Then, this one time when they were making out really hard they had a baby. They named her Chastity. And then, Chastity had a band called CEREMONY.
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Far as I can tell, they only made one CD and they called it 'Hang Out Your Poetry'. And then, I bought it. Chastity is the co-lead singer with a chick named Chance. And, they both play acoustic guitar and are pretty good songwriters. Oh yeah, and there's also a bunch of guys in the band who obviously really, really like The Grateful Dead and The Beatles too. And!! Jerry Garcia makes a guest appearance on the CD. And if anyone gives a flying fuck these are my favorite tracks: "Ready For Love", "Goodbye Sunshine", "Trust", "Steal Your Heart", "Could've Been Love" (cowbell alert!). Chance has a pretty voice that she sometimes unleashes. She easily transcends from angelic sighs to a low and gritty growl. And when Chastity comes in to sing her verses...well, you just fucking KNOW it's her, man. Chastity has all the best qualities of mama Cher's singing - save for the annoying vibrato thingy that Cher is so fond of doing whenever possible. Chastity's voice is deep and strong and full of promises she didn't keep. What the hell happened to this band, man? Where'd they go? Why'd they quit? If I ever find Chastity I'm definitely gonna ask her all about it. I'm pretty sure this band CEREMONY had its debut before Chastity officially came out as a queer girl. Maybe once she announced her gay life to the world (and to mama Cher - yikes!) she decided rock and roll should take a backseat to her political views. Chastity is a gay rights activist, and I think she writes for a few magazines too. Oh, and she wrote a book a few years ago - sorry, can't remember the name right now. Look it up on the Internet! So, I guess all that stuff is more important to her. More important than rock and roll? Fine, whatever. So, that's Chastity Bono's update. Her mom had a big disco-dance-kind-of-a-hoe-down hit song a couple years ago...it was a pretty good one, too. And her dad became a Congressman, but then he died. Chastity misses him, and I miss Chastity. Took me all of 5 minutes to write this review, but it took me 7 years to finally do it...sorry, Chas.
Next Time: The Life and Times of Elijah Blue.
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